Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Last Pregnancy Update - and More

I realize that I've been a total slacker with the blog these last few months. It turns out that while both of my pregnancies were pretty different, the main thing they have in common is my laziness. And this time, any energy I do have is reserved for Berkley. Even my husband hasn't gotten the attention that he deserves.

Speaking of Berkley, she is BEYOND excited to meet her little brother next week. She says she is most excited about feeding him and holding him.

I'm in the home stretch. My c section is scheduled for June 23rd which is 9 days away! Baby Tanner's room still isn't ready and I haven't quite finished making all the freezer meals I wanted to make beforehand. I still want to get a pedicure and a haircut. I also have a few more things I wanted to get squared away for work before I go on maternity leave, but if he arrived today, I would be pretty ecstatic. I'm absolutely dying to meet my little guy. I've really started dreaming about him which is fun.

These are my predictions about him:

1. He'll be longer than Berkley (19 3/4 inches)
2. He'll weigh less than Berkley (7lbs 1oz)
3. He'll have dark hair
4. He'll have his daddy's dimple
5. He'll be a bigger eater than Berkley and therefore chubbier (she was almost always under the 8th percentile for weight)

I think it will be fun to see how he compares to how I've been picturing him.

This pregnancy has been quite a bit different in the following ways:

1. Eating habits

Berkley - I had the same thing for breakfast every day, craved carbs, sweets, fruit, fried okra, couldn't eat or look at chicken, couldn't eat any meat except steak, bacon, and sausage

Tanner - I get sick of foods after 2 or 3 days, not a lot of cravings except fruit and a few urgent needs for Chinese food and buffalo wings. I can eat chicken if I don't make it myself and I can handle red meat just fine.

2. Weight gain

Berkley- My belly was egg shaped and I got wider. I was 129 lbs when I got pregnant and 158 lbs when I gave birth, so a gain of 29 lbs.

Tanner- My belly is more beach ball this time and people say I'm all belly. It definitely looks different to me than it did last time. I was 132 lbs when I got pregnant and I'm 156 lbs with 9 days to go, so it looks like I will have gained a little less, but will be around the same weight at birth.

3. Baby movement:

Berkley - I always felt her right in the middle or on my sides. Movement intensified right at 28 weeks. In the last few weeks, she got the hiccups multiple times per day which drove me crazy.

Tanner - He's somehow kicking/punching my ribs and my cervix which takes my breath away sometimes. Movement also intensified right at 28 weeks. I feel hiccups but definitely not as much as I did with Berkley. I don't think he's any more active than she was.

4. Mood

Berkley - Time went by real slow. I felt like every problem or challenge had to be solved immediately. I was pretty emotional and wanted my husband around all the time. he nicknamed me "Hormonal Sally" :) Overall, I was happy and very lazy. I'm typically pretty active and exercise regularly, but NOT when pregnant.

Tanner - Time has gone by pretty fast. I have been happy, excited, and WAY laid back. I have not been called "Hormonal Sally" once! I didn't have the luxury of being quite as lazy as last time since I am a mom to a 4 year old now, but I was as lazy as possible.

5. Preparation

Berkley - I had a "to-do" list for myself and my husband that was about two miles long and had it all done a few months before she got here. Not to mention, she had a beautiful nursery set up when she got home from the hospital.

Tanner - My "to-do" list is just now getting finished and my husband's had like 5 items on it - two of which are still not done (no biggie). And his nursery? There's no theme or matching furniture and it's still not totally organized. Since we are in a temporary living situation, I didn't bother too much with the whole nursery thing this time. Poor second child. Ha!

6. Other symptoms

Berkley - headaches, fatigue, loss of appetite, constipation, emotional, no libido, acne

Tanner - loss of appetite, thirsty all the time, hemorrhoids, digestive problems, irritable, increased libido, weird skin issues like I can see every bit of sun damage and age spots

One of the highlights of this pregnancy was my Baby Sprinkle. I have the best friends on the planet. Some of my favorite girls were kind enough to host a celebration in honor of the pending arrival of Baby Tanner and I couldn't be more grateful for their love, support, and prayers as we have waited for him.

Here are some pictures from that special day.

I also had some maternity pictures done by this sweet woman (who is now a friend) that I met at Publix. Here are some of my favorites:

And here are some bump pictures from along the way:

The next time I post will probably be about Tanner's arrival, and while I don't want to be too ambitious on my short maternity leave, I have some more ideas for what I want to do with this space very soon.

Thank you for following along!

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

He Hears!

I remember the morning that I learned that our first IUI had failed. Even with the slim 10-12% chance that my RE gave me that it would work, I was so disappointed. The tears began to flow, alone in my little half bathroom while Berkley waited for her breakfast, where I asked God to help me get it together. I didn't want to lose any joy or hope. I didn't want Berkley to see mommy cry. Then, I heard Him whisper, "It's OK to cry, but I can't wait for you to see what I have planned for you." It wasn't the compassionate and comforting way I was used to hearing that still, small voice. It was more like the look on my husband's face and the tone in his voice when he has a surprise for me. I held on to that moment for a long time. That hope and that promise. And I prayed that it would one day be very clear what He was referring to.

I was just sure that IUI was going to be the answer to our problems. I was so sure that I would get pregnant once we began treatment that I did a Daniel Fast the first 21 days of 2015, petitioning the Lord- not just for a baby, but for the baby boy I had desired for as long as I could remember. I thought that getting pregnant soon was a given, since we were about to begin our first treatment, so I figured that I may as well go for it! God likes big, specific prayers right? I prayed a different prayer for my unborn son each of those 21 days. I prayed that his life would give the Father glory, I prayed that he would lead others to the Lord. I prayed for his childhood, his relationship with me, my husband, and his sister, his future wife, his young adult years, his character, his personality.  I even prayed that he would have his daddy's dimple.

After each failed IUI (6 in total), I was disappointed, but I knew that I was just one month closer to my answered prayers.

In the hundreds, maybe thousands of prayers that I have sent up to heaven in the last few years, many of those included a request for a baby. Almost as many were that my best friend and I would get to experience pregnancy together again. This friend, let's call her a sister, was planning her wedding at the same time that I was. She then had her first baby 7 weeks after I had mine (also with very little trying to get pregnant). We both had emergency cesareans and gave birth to two little blond haired, blue eyed angels. Without conspiring about it, we both began trying for baby number two in the exact same week. Since that week over two years ago, we lamented together, cried together, prayed for each other, praised Him together, thanked Him together, questioned Him together, but mostly grew in faith together as we waited for our babies. Neither of us had a diagnosis. Both of us had failed IUIs and a miscarriage. 

Let's just say that it doesn't take a prophet or a genius to see that the Lord made us friends for a reason. That He wanted us to take this walk together. So, while we both prayed for our little miracles, we also prayed that we would receive them at the same time.

I once read that God loves to jump out and surprise you. That He waits behind corners, in anticipation of the perfect moment, to surprise you with the best gifts, so that you will not be able to mistake His hand in the miracle. Now I see what the Spirit meant when He told me He couldn't wait to show me what He had up His sleeve.

I am 20 weeks pregnant (from a no-treatment cycle) with the baby boy that I prayed and fasted for. We actually found out that it was a boy EXACTLY a year after that fast. AND my best friend, my sister? Yeah, she's 13 weeks pregnant as well. Also, without any treatment. Also with a baby boy. That's 7 weeks behind me JUST LIKE OUR FIRST PREGNANCIES four years ago. After over two years of secondary unexplained infertility, we are rejoicing TOGETHER in these miracles and praising Him for His crazy, beautiful, sovereign, incredible ways.

I speak for both of us when I say that this is an experience and a whole lot of answered prayers that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. We will look back and see Him in all of it.

He hears you!  So, don't be afraid to ask for the big and the crazy and the impossible and any little details in between! He loves to wait behind a corner, in anticipation of the perfect moment, to jump out and answer your prayers. Give Him all the details and all the specifics so that He can have all the glory. He wants to show you that He hears, that He loves, that He gives good gifts to His children.

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