Thursday, December 10, 2015

WAY Overdue Pregnancy Update and My Infertility Interview with The Amateur Nester

I'm so sorry to those of you who have been following along and were wondering where I have been! After my last post, some serious nausea set in, then I got the stomach flu on top of the regular nausea. I certainly don't want it to sound like I'm complaining because I was rejoicing in the symptoms, but they definitely knocked me off of my feet for a while.

I am 11 weeks today! We have seen the baby (no twins) and the heartbeat twice now. After our first ultrasound, we gave the news to Berkley and her reaction was anti climatic to say the least. I was entertained/disappointed at her lack of response after months of her praying for a brother and a sister, but my husband wasn't surprised. I guess that for an almost four year old, they need to see something to get excited about it and since the baby isn't here yet, there is little for her to get excited about. But she is slowly asking some really cute questions and keeps reminding me to tell her when the baby comes out as if we will somehow sneak the whole thing past her. Haha!

Here baby is at 8w5d:

The baby is measuring right on target, which gives me a due date of June 30th 2016, but the cesarean will likely be scheduled up to a week before that. I often get asked if I would consider a VBAC after having a cesarean and the truth is that I probably would except for three things:

  1.  I was led to believe that the problems I had during Berkley's birth would still be there the next time around, so why go back down that same road? 
  2. I LOVED going into labor, wondering when it was going to happen, but it really will be so much easier to have the cesarean scheduled so that my mom can plan ahead to be here to keep Berkley while we are in the hospital.
  3. I get two extra weeks of maternity leave when I have a cesarean

#3 is the hardest to argue for me! I needed those two extra weeks last time and was so grateful for them.

I have "graduated" from seeing my Reproductive Endocrinologist and will see my OB for the first time next week. With the holidays ahead, a trip planned for New Year's, and trying to pack some fun things into the all-wonderful second trimester, I think this is all going to fly by.

But I want to be honest. Sometimes my heart still feels infertile. Since God has conquered my infertility, the enemy is coming at me in other ways. He's invoking fear that I will lose this baby, that something is wrong with my baby, things that never even entered my mind with my first pregnancy. I've heard that if you've been infertile long enough, then you "know too much." I once had a friend tell me that she won't stop worrying until she's holding her baby in her arms. I remember thinking that was so sad, but part of me understands that now. I've heard so many stories of heart break and my eyes are wide open to this devastating world of infertility and infant loss. It is very difficult to keep those fears at bay.

But I'm fighting back with joy! Every time those fears set in, I fight back with all of the beautiful scriptures that I learned during these last few years just as Jesus did when He was rebuking the enemy in the desert for those 40 days. My joy comes from the Lord and I will hold onto it with all my might.

This is also way overdue, but I was interviewed over at the Amateur Nester here.

Also, I promise that I will not be only blogging about pregnancy!  I have some more ideas coming.

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